The problem is that lots of people are doing it wrong, and therefore wasting the opportunity altogether.

Today I got two handwritten pieces of mail. The first was from Olivia Newton-John (let me pick up that name I just dropped on the floor) – it was a letter that one of her representatives had typed up, and she had personally signed it at the bottom. The letter was completely personalised and I could tell it wasn’t templated in any way. Winner.

What made the experience even more impressive was that it came with another note (again very personalised) from her representative saying that Olivia had asked her to pass the first note on to me. Again, it was completely written for me and developed from scratch.

The next piece of mail was from an author who had sent me their latest book. A lovely gesture, but it lost some of its sheen when I got to the handwritten card which may as well have been an advertisement for the book. There was no emotion conveyed or personalisation at all – it was just ‘here’s my book and this is what it is about’.

The best part of a personal note is the message that comes with it. If you go to all the trouble of sending a card or parcel, take the time to make it personal and make it count.

I’m just amazed that people still don’t understand basic social media etiquette. When you’re wanting to add someone to your network that you don’t know on LinkedIn, it’s essential that you give some context as to why you’d like to connect.

I’ve said this before but I’ll say it again: adding someone to your network that you’ve never met before, and expecting them to respond positively is like going to a cocktail party or a networking event and thrusting your business card in their hands without saying anything. You’re expecting them to take that card and give you a smile and accept you as a contact, but really – would you? I’d be a bit creeped out, just as I am when people send me that dreaded message ‘I’d like to add you to my network on LinkedIn’ with nothing else. Um, yep, ok, but I have no idea who you are, so no thanks.

No essay is required with your request – just a line or two explaining why you’re reaching out. Easy!

Anyone got any other social media pet peeves that they’d like to share?

It’s such a good question, so I’ve written a few tips below that will help make your networking more impactful.

1) If you’re going to an event or a conference, ask the organisers if you can have the attendee list beforehand.

Once you’ve got the list, spend ten minutes going through it and highlighting the people you want to meet. When you get to the event, don’t be scared to ask the organisers to point you in the direction of the people you’re wanting to be introduced to.

2) Be brutal with your time.

Don’t spend excess time talking to the one person or group of people. Practise out loud (and I know this sounds daggy, but it works) excusing yourself from a person/group before you go to the networking event. So something like: “It’s been so nice to talk with you but I’m doing my best to meet as many people as possible today, so I’m off to mingle now.” Or: “Well, great talking with you, I’m off to meet a few more people before the session starts.”  Or even: “I’m here to extend my network and meet a lot of people, so thanks again for the chat and enjoy the rest of the conference.”

3) Be confident. And if you’re not, fake it ’til you make it.

I was at a Business Chicks event in Adelaide last week and was talking with a group of three ladies. A young woman approached us so confidently and said “Hi, I’m Jenny.” That’s all it takes! We immediately welcomed her into our conversation and were all so impressed by her confidence and ability to introduce herself.

4) If you really want to stand out at a conference, ask a question

If there’s an opportunity for Q&A at the end of a session at a conference, jump up and ask a question. It goes without saying that your question needs to be pertinent and intelligent, but by standing up and clearly saying your name and the company you’re from, you’ll get approached at the end of the session for sure. Someone is bound to come up to you and say “Great question – I was thinking about that too.”

5) Ask lots of questions and be friendly

Everyone wants to hang around with people who take an interest in them, and who come across as friendly, likeable and approachable. If you ask lots of questions of others, and go to efforts to be happy and upbeat, people will be happy to chat with you.

6) Get off your butt!

If you’re going to a seated networking event, and there are another nine or so people at your table, be sure to get up and actually walk around to them and introduce yourself. Take your business cards with you, and ask for theirs. People enjoy it when you take an interest in them and put effort into making connections. Don’t be too full on with this though – the aim is not to collect another nine business cards and then sit back down. It’s to genuinely show an interest in the other people, and to be friendly and courteous.

7) And lastly, ask others to introduce you around

This is similar to the first tip, but you’d be surprised how many people just go to networking events, or conferences, and don’t ask others to introduce them. Try this: “I’m trying to meet someone who knows a lot about xxxx – do you know anyone here with that knowledge? Would you mind introducing me?” Voila! Instant connections.

It surprises me because the hardest part of networking is actually starting. It’s the getting to the event, or organising the get together. The rest is quite easy.

I’ve had so many situations where I’ve spent a flight next to someone and they’ll be telling me about a problem they’re experiencing, or about someone they need to meet in a certain industry, and I’ll offer to help them out. I give them my card and tell them to be in touch with me.

Same goes for networking events. You get along really well with someone and you know that you can help them out heaps (and they know it too) but then they never take it a step further. Business cards and smiles are exchanged, but it’s a wasted opportunity as they never do anything about it.

The most important part of networking is to follow up – to take the conversation to the next level – to build the relationship. I’ve found a good way to do this is to diarise some time after networking events so that when you get back to your desk, you’ll be reminded to follow up.

Try this if you’re looking to build relationships, trust, credibility and accountability. It works!

What other things do you do after you meet with someone to further build on the relationship? Let me know below!

It was so great just then to reconnect with him.

We always pick up where we left off. In five minutes I heard about his latest business journey and it looks like we can help each other out with the things we’re doing. We’re now booked in for a catch up in a few weeks and I’ve no doubt there’s some magic that will happen there.

A similar thing happened to me a few weeks back.

A girl who I knew from childhood (she lived across the street) contacted me and asked for my help with a few of her business ideas. I loved chatting with her and playing witness to her enthusiasm and determination. As an added bonus to meeting up with her again, she came along to her first Business Chicks event last week and is now hooked.

One of my favourite people from high school recently read one of my blog posts and got in touch with me. I absolutely adored this girl at school – we giggled our way through maths classes and always had a ball together. When she reconnected, I was able to help her a little with something she’s going through, and in return she is helping us (massively!!!!) with one of the areas we’re working on at Business Chicks.

Old friends are happy to open doors which may look a little more firmly closed, and bring so much fun and meaning to business – go on, reach out to one now!!